February & March 2010 Early days

The flat was unfurnished. Very unfurnished. Ikea is stocked. Very stocked.

Mothers are nest-makers. Nests need furniture.

Jess + Ikea + nest (empty) = a force of unstoppable dimension in a female body.

First came the fridge. A big one. With the freezer at the bottom (whoever manufactures the less used bits at chest height?). Next came a bunk bed to house the monsters who shared a mattress throughout their civil war. Then a lounge chair to make up for the disasterous meal we had with our first guest on the tiles. And a couch, to break the dreadful vacuous look the lounge had. Next came the dining room table that began life as an executive office table with a hole for a computer power cable right where the permanent vase now sits. That came with a set of transparent chairs that are just comfortable enough for guests to suggest the adjournment to the lounge only after dessert. O, and I nearly forgot the curtains, sheets, duvets, night-frills, napkins, place-mats, serviettes, and other linen devices designed to aid living.

Jess hired a handy-man (who moonlighted as a lawyer, and had some past with organized religion). And bit by bit the flat clawed its way from an abandoned warehouse to a residence.

The days were hot. The nights were hot. The aircon inventor should win the Nobel Prize every year.

It would just so happen that the family suffered a collective meltdown each Thursday for those initial days. Friday is cheered by the advent of the weekend. So Thursday officially becomes the longest stretch from the memory of the weekend past. Time and time again the Thursday curse would strike. Most Thursdays all Purchase females would be in tears as I arrived home. In those days it did not take much to be completely overwhelming. Culture shock is thoroughly confusing for no good reason in particular. And it feels like it will never end. Wear waterproof mascara when you doing hand-to-hand combat with culture shock. Culture shock can smell fear and sense weakness. Don't let it know that you are inwardly in turmoil otherwise it calls in the vultures. Stay off the mascara for a few months. And if you can't do that, just don't wear it on Thursdays.